This content was originally posted on WrapsodyBaby.com, a website and babywearing business formerly owned by the author.
“Romantic” is not one of the words most parents use to describe babywearing — but seriously. Babywearing can really make more room for romance in your life! Here are five of the ways I’ve found that babywearing helps me stay more connected in my marriage — what would you add? How do you hold onto romance after children? Comment below and tell me your thoughts!
Romance after children: Bring romance to bedtime
Nursing, rocking, singing, patting. Walking into baby’s room. Walking out. Nursing again. Rocking, singing, patting. Lying with baby and rooolllllliiiiinnnnnggggg away as slowly as you can. Repeating.
Yeah. Bedtime can be the antithesis of romance, and by the time you finally get your baby to sleep and cuddle up with your partner for a movie, chances are, your baby will wake up again!
But what if you could make bedtime a time for connecting with your partner? I’m serious. This works best if you have one baby or maybe a baby and a toddler, but hear me out.
Grab your baby carrier and settle baby in after you’ve fed and diapered her. Put on some music and rock your baby to sleep while you dance with your partner.
Or perhaps one of you loves to read aloud — instead of reading children’s books, read poetry or a story you both enjoy. Your baby doesn’t care about the content, just the rhythm of your voices.
Alternatively, stand up in your living room and play some video games or a board game together while you bounce baby in your carrier. Before you know it, baby will probably be sound asleep and you can settle down for a glass of wine. You can even lay a blanket on the floor nearby and settle your baby where you can see him and offer him a quick pat of reassurance when he stirs. Just don’t leave your carrier within reach — though you’ll be able to see him, it’s not worth the risk of having your baby get tangled in the straps or fabric.
Pushing a stroller is not conducive to hand-holding. Even if you’re able to push your stroller one-handed, it’s just awkward. However, when one of you is carrying your baby, it’s easy and natural to reach out and hold hands at the store, windowshopping downtown, or just taking a walk around the block.
Your baby gets to enjoy the adventure with you and will likely stay calm and content, enjoying the sights, the swaying of your body, and the sound of your voice, and you get to stay really connected with your partner without baby gear between you. Babywearing makes adventures easier
My 4yo calles them “scuddles.” My 2yo calls them “puggles.” Both are names for the group snuggle.
When your baby is snuggled against you in a carrier, you are all sharing space. It’s natural, as parents, to want to snuggle, kiss, tickle, and stroke our babies.
Baby is in the swing? Your partner goes over to the swing to coo, chat, and kiss. Baby riding on your back? Interactions with the baby quickly become playful group hugs. You are naturally more often face to face with your partner as you both interact with your baby. Your baby is naturally in the center of the interaction, and your interactions more naturally and easily involve one another.
Go on family dates
I can’t promise that babywearing will ALWAYS keep your baby settled. However, I have been able to bring my babies under 9 months almost anywhere with me if I had a sling or wrap.
Movies? Sure. Worst case scenario, my partner and I are leaning against the wall together, standing and holding hands as I rock with baby in the wrap. Dinner out? Sure. Baby hangs out and enjoys the atmosphere while we eat, I can nurse discreetly if I need to, and there’s no fussing with filthy restaurant high chairs. A baby in a soft carrier usually requires less baby-focused intense distraction techniques than a baby in a stroller or a car seat carrier. Romance after children may look different than it did before your children were born, but babywearing can help you hold onto it.
In fact, research suggests that babies who are carried cry less — and what’s more romantic than a peaceful home?